Coming Home To Nature

By Rick Theile

Introduction

PART 1

For me, it is not just about being able to survive in the wilderness, or in learning bushcraft skills, thus becoming proficient in them that I can apply while in the wilderness—although this Art of primitive living highly interests me and drives me to want to learn more—it is much more than that. Being in the wilderness is truly about living in and being totally immersed in the experience, with the magnificence Nature provides to us when we open up to her, and allowing her to teach us. And of course, sharing this grand journey with my dog and my best friend, Shiloh.

~ Rick Theile

This is my story, just one of many untold stories by millions of Americans—a story about the cause and effect of a failed system created and fed by the insatiable appetite for greed, and I am sure, some corruption mixed into the broth, that effected the lower and middle classes of men, women, and children, and creating very uncertain times for so many. In part, it is a story of struggle and hardship for many, and it is a story about a man and his dog finding peace during these turbulent times. These times were later referred to as the Great Recession of 2007. It is a time where a man and his canine companion were in search of a new life, a new purpose, and meaning that was found spending time in the wilderness and in Nature in the Sierra Nevada mountains. And creating a strong bond of companionship, a deep friendship, and love with his dog, Shiloh.

The devastating economic condition of our country was taking a huge toll on my very survival, as it had for so many Americans. I had friends who had lost their homes. With very little work to be had in the beginnings of the collapse of the building industry, I would find myself living one day at a time, wondering how I would survive, where I would live and how I would feed myself and my dog.

In March of 2009, I was being evicted from my apartment after living there for some six years. It was a difficult blow to deal with and I felt a lot of anger towards our government and for the greed, corruption, and irresponsibility of our financial institutions that were the root cause of this economic disaster that impacted the whole world as well as devastating the lower and middle classes of America.

During this period, I had very little money, and very little work in my Home Design business, no place to live, and wondering what will happen to Shiloh and I. I was looking at the real possibility of being homeless. I began going through my options and thought about the possibility of camping for two to three months and during that time maybe things would change, and work would start picking up for me once again.

The idea of camping was becoming more of a reality the more I thought about it. I looked at different areas where we lived in the San Francisco Bay Area where they had campgrounds that provided the necessities like showers and being somewhat close to where I do most of my work. This new direction we were about to embark on, actually began sounding like a great experience and adventure for Shiloh and I. We had no idea what it would bring, and I thought it would be a short term camping excursion. Little did I know, it would change my life in very profound, and unexpected ways. In the back of my mind I was always thinking, “things have to get better soon, work and the economy had to pick up soon.” I didn’t realize it would take six to eight years for the recovery of the Building Industry to take hold again and get back on track in the Residential Building sector in California.

In preparing to live in the woods, a friend of mine who I have not seen for a couple of years offered Shiloh and I a place to stay at his unfinished house. And it was unfinished. Five years before, I did the design, and Architectural Construction Documents (Working Drawings for Construction) for my friend on a major room addition and remodel of his house. Five years later, the house was framed out, the exterior siding enclosed the wall framing, windows in, and roofing material installed. But not much more then that had been done. At least it was weather tight. From the exterior, you could not tell any work was being done, but the interior was another matter. About ninety percent of the house in the interior living space was unfinished. It did have a one and a half bathroom that was finished, and a laundry room. It had no kitchen and much of the rest of the house did not have any insulation, or interior sheetrock, and no heat or AC in the house. In the interior, it was a skeleton of a house.

I couldn’t refuse my friends offer and he allowed me to have a space where I could set up a small office where I could work if and when I did get work. He charged me $600 per month vs. $2,500 per month that I was paying at my apartment.

But my mind was still set on camping, and we would still camp for at least a month and use his house as a backup if we did need a place to stay and work.

When I was telling some friends what I was planning on doing for a couple of months they were both concerned for me and Shiloh and thought I was a little crazy for wanting to camp out for a month or two in park campgrounds.

For most that would seem to be considered homeless, but for me, it was an exciting prospect being able to live in nature. I imagined doing something few would imagine doing and to follow in the foot steps of such people as Henry David Thoreau, John Muir, Henry Beston and others. Like them, I was being called to Nature. I saw myself as a born again Naturalist with my trusted friend and companion, Shiloh by my side.

In the original 4^th draft of this manuscript I wrote in this story, and talked in a little more detail about what occurred prior to the events in 2009, and 2010 in Nature. In this blog, I will briefly touch on those times before 2009 just to give you a perspective of what lead up to this time period.

In the early 90’s I had experienced financial hardship due to the economic recession during the Gulf War that impacted the Building Industry, as well as starting over after my brother and I went different way from the Architectural business we had for 7 years together.

With very little money during the slow down of the economy in the early 90’s, scraping for work for rent and one meal a day at a Smorgasbord Restaurant just up the street from where I was living with three other roommates, I decided I wanted to make an impact in the world. So I began working with the Anthony Robbins Basket Brigade, a part of the Anthony Robbins Foundation, that was a nonprofit organizations. I organized an adopt-a-family program in my community to help the less fortunate for Thanksgiving. I did this for nine years, and fed over one thousand families with the great help of the volunteers. It was hard work but I enjoyed every second doing it. Unexpectedly I began to experience the emotions of joy, love, compassion, empathy, non-judgment, no expectations, and the wonderful gift of giving. I was hooked on giving to others. I looked forward to every year for the nine years I had done it. On the 9^th years, I was done. I wanted to go into a different direction. I wasn’t sure what though.

During the mid 90’s I had experienced a number of unexpected awakenings that became a major spiritual transformations that completely changed my life 180 degrees. A reality I did not know existed, nor did I think I was even worthy of, nor was I even interested in. I was slowly and yet gently being pulled to this sacred place. I had an inner sense that something was saying, “Just look.” I pondered on why me? Why was I chosen for this gift? I did welcome this gift of awakening, and I was excited to learn more, much more of this sacred realm. It was a time of learning and experiencing what our outside reality could not teach, nor give.

One of those moments was around the latter part of the 90’s during a frustrating time playing golf. I wanted to excel in my game, but was stuck shooting a score average in the low 90’s for 18 holes. I knew I was much better then that. I just couldn’t get past that mental block.

I had an experience I was not proud of and I was ready to quit the game I loved. I decided to let go of what was holding me back and just enjoy this wonderful game with my friends. At that moment, I believe I experienced a small shift in consciousness. The next game I played, I was able to completely let go of any expectations, any thoughts, too experience the game in silence, and to play in the present moment. I also did not keep score. During the full 18 holes, I had become the observer or watcher of myself and myself playing the game. I was totally detached from the experience and yet one with the experience. After about three and a half month I drastically reduced my score and was shooting in the low 70’s. My best score was 73 for 18 holes.

The low scoring was just an after thought. It was totally unexpected, nor did it really matter. What mattered to me was just being one with the game, in non-attachment to the game. I believe, I know, I could not have done this without help from a source outside of me who was guiding me on this path of awakening. It was all about awakening to a new reality, and not about playing good golf.

Back in 2006 I was planning on heading into the wilderness with my four horses (Missouri Foxtrotters) and my two dogs (Native American Indian Dogs) for a planned five year journey throughout the western United States and possibly Canada. This trip had been in the planning and preparing stages for five year. A few months prior to my planned departure, one of my horses got sick and that postpone my trip for a year and then in 2007 just a couple of months before departure, things began falling apart for the trip. One thing lead to another and once again I had to delay the trip. Work at that time was becoming difficult to come by because the Contractors I worked with thought I was leaving for this adventure. The money I had saved for the trip slowly began dwindling down with no money or very little coming in.

I had dreamed when I was a young child to have horses. I watched the many westerns on TV, and movies. When I was planning my trip to pack into the wilderness on horseback. I needed horses. My first horse was an 11 year old Missouri Foxtrotter, a sorrel mare. She was beautiful and had an attitude. She tested me and taught me how to ride her. She had a kind heart, and. she also intimidated me. But once we felt connected to each other, she began to showed me her beautiful gate. She was as smooth a glass and a joy riding her. Lacy was her name, (also known as Crazy Lacy). She had taught me so much, and especially for the love and respect of horses. She had changed my life and was truly a gift.

During this period of time I had also started a non-profit in July of 2007 called, Indigenous Peoples International, focused on human rights and land rights of indigenous peoples and it would also be involved in issues on the preservation of our natural environment. I thought both these issues of humans rights of the indigenous cultures and the natural environment worked hand in hand with each other and my interests were very high in both. Having the non-profit was a long time dream of mine and it seemed it was becoming a reality for me. I chose to focus on indigenous cultures once I learned of the atrocities and genocides that had occurred to many indigenous cultures around the world in the past and continues in current day. It allowed me to focus in a new direction in my hopes of making a difference in the world.

Then the worst happened, my savings were gone, work was almost non-existent, I began falling behind with my financial responsibilities and then, I was forced to begin the process of selling my horses in 2008 because I could no longer support having them any longer. It not only became a very difficult time financially, but also losing my horses that had become a big part of my life. Losing them was a very painful experience for me. It also meant the trip I was planning was delayed indefinitely. Soon after I sold most of the horses, my female dog, Shawnee got sick and I had to put her down. She was only four and that was extremely devastating for me losing her. Everything seemed to be falling apart in my life. As the stock market was crashing, so was my life. It was now just me and Shiloh and one horse named Joey.

Throughout this time and even in the late nineties I had been thinking and dreaming about being in and living in the wilderness. The whole idea of getting back into Nature and living in Nature was always with me, always a part of me on some deeper level. After my dream of my horse packing journey became only a shattered image in my mind, I began focusing on survival skills or for another name, bushcraft skills, which had interested me for many years. The whole idea of knowing these skills was to be able to survive and to have self-reliance in the wilderness with very few supplies and using the natural resources around me for shelter, food and tools had always excited me. I began studying this lost art and dove into books, on survival skills, bushcraft skills, wild edible, and medicinal plants as well as DVD’s on survival and I began to immerse myself in the subject matter. The more I read, the more excited I became of the prospect of living in the wilderness and being able to survive in it if needed. One of the movies I had was called, “Alone In The Wilderness,” it was about a fifty year old man who left his job to retire and to live in the wilderness in the rugged territory of Alaska. He built a log cabin in an area called Twin Lakes and lived there alone for thirty years. Due to the harsh winters, he had to leave his home in the wilderness at the age of eighty. A pretty incredible story for people who love the wilderness.

During the major part of the nineties and into the new millennium, I began looking at life in a totally different way. I spent a lot of time reading and searching for the meaning of life and I had experienced a transformation in my life—a way of seeing life and the world like I had never seen it before. Things that were important to me growing up were now meaningless ideas. I realized the direction I was living my life had no meaning, it had no purpose, only an illusion of what I had thought life should be, dictated by family, our society through television, movies, government, schools and of course in advertisements.

I asked the question, “Why would I want to move away from the materialistic, the synthetic world I have lived in all my life?” As one friend asked me, “why would you want to move backwards?” I suppose for many, they would see it as a major step back in time. Some would perceive it as moving back into the Stone Age. And for most it would be nearly impossible, unless forced too, to give up all the niceties, conveniences, comforts and materialism we have in America and that we have become accustom too. For me reconnecting with nature is far more important than living in a world of consumerism, in having a lot of stuff, and thus becoming part of the problem in the devastating impact we are having on our planet through the pollution of our air, water and land, the rapid depletion of our natural resources, and overpopulation. Having all the stuff, the new fancy car, the big house, all the stuff to fill the house with, no longer had any meaning to me. Living in Nature and with the natural world has far more appeal to me than having a lot of stuff with short term gratification, usually just sits in a closet or in storage, or in the garage. It is not really about stepping back in time, but connecting deeply with the natural world, and the amazing beauty and wondrous creation of all life. We live on a very special planet.

When I think of traveling to new places or new countries now, I don’t think about staying in four and five star hotels or doing all the touristy things most people usually do when traveling. It is not that I was once one of those people who enjoyed the good life. I just now see myself rather spending time with traditional indigenous people who still live in the their traditional ways, so I can learn those skills and be with people who really live, experience and survive from the land and who respect the land for all it provides them on a more spiritual level. This was another dream of mine that I would love to experience.

And now, I am ready to explore nature once again with Shiloh, a Native American Indian Dog who is 5 years old now. And I will find that it will be an experience by me on a much deeper level than I could have ever thought or imagined. I decided to redirect that energy on still being in the wilderness, but not on horseback.

On April 1^st I got everything moved in and got my office stuff put into the unfinished Living Room at my friend’s house. For the month of April I was going to be spending a month and a half camping at a regional park about a half hour away from my new temporary home at my friend’s house. I made reservations to camp at Del Valle Reservoir Regional Park from April 1^st to May 14th. This was to be our new home for forty-two days.

This is our story about rediscovering, and reconnecting with Nature, and the wilderness with Shiloh and I.

I once saw a sign at the beginning of a trailhead that read, May your search through Nature lead you to yourself.

This sign is a great idea to provoke thought and awareness while taking those first steps into Nature, but in reality, how many people grasp this possibility of reaching some awakening into finding who they truly are, in finding a deeper meaning in life, and connecting to Nature on a much deeper spiritual level. Many people in today’s world are looking for some spiritual connection that is outside themselves and they may go into Nature or travel to some exotic spiritual place thinking they will find the meaning of life, but very few ever do. Because they are always looking for it in the wrong direction. Instead of looking outward, they will only find this place within themselves by looking inward where the answers lies.

Most people that experience time in Nature are usually with other people or may be walking their dog or may actually be reflecting on life, but finding answers through nature I believe it can only be done alone without distractions by others. And it could take many weeks or months or even years in the wilderness to experience any real sense of connection with oneself and to all of creation, or it can be experienced in a moment, through deep awakening. Most of us bring mental garbage into nature with us and are hoping to leave oriesit behind somewhere else besides in our memories. As with anything it is a process that usually cannot be rushed. It is a process of being able to silence the mind and experiencing quiet observation and awareness. Being in Nature and appreciating nature is different from truly experiencing and connecting with Nature and experiencing a deep profound awakening experience with Nature in Nature.

“Wilderness is not only a haven for native plants and animals but it is also a refuge from society. Its a place to go to hear the wind and little else, see the stars and the galaxies, smell the pine trees, feel the cold water, touch the sky and the ground at the same time, listen to coyotes, eat the fresh snow, walk across the desert sands, and realize why its good to go outside of the city and the suburbs. Fortunately, there is wilderness just outside the limits of the cities and the suburbs in most of the United States, especially in the West.”

~ John Muir